| Bleh |
[Mar. 18th, 2004|09:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cold - She Said | ] |
So... how is everyone |
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| Great news |
[Oct. 31st, 2003|12:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sore | ] |
http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Northeast/10/31/crime.girls.reut/
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (Reuters) -- A man described by authorities as a known sexual predator was chased through the streets of South Philadelphia by an angry crowd of Catholic high school girls, who kicked and punched him after he was tackled by neighbors, police said Friday.
Classic :D |
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| New rules for employees |
[Oct. 31st, 2003|09:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
NEW COMPANY RULES
SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness; if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are am employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of contract.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee with receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4, and Dec.25.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. Forinstance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose name begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees's supervisor must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door will open, and the seat will eject you.
DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy; normal sized people get 30 minutes to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure; fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input, should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week. |
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| WOOT! |
[Oct. 29th, 2003|12:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
My new LCD for my Inspiron arrived!
I unpacked it, and installed. It's great - just a few small blemishes but SO much better than my old screen. Ahh so liberating to be able to actually use my laptop as a ... laptop again. I'm currently downstairs watching Conan on comedy central while computing. It's also killer to not be tethered to the 17" CRT upstairs anymore. I'll be able to work/play and spend time with family.
Yay! |
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| Hehe |
[Oct. 29th, 2003|09:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cold - Cold - 02 - Give | ] |
Ahh, I'm eagerly awaiting the delivery of a new 14.1" LCD for my Dell Inspiron 4100... Mine has been busted for quite a while and was finally able to find one on Ebay I could afford...
According to USPS it's in Strongsville, and should be delivered today *hopes*...
A great read for sysadmins... |
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